Caregiving is full of surprises, and the journey is different for everyone. However, generally, people go through a series of stages when caring for someone.
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Caregiving is full of surprises, and the journey is different for everyone. However, generally, people go through a series of stages when caring for someone. In some cases, a catastrophic accident or illness occurs, which will thrust you immediately into providing care that you may be unprepared for. In other situations, caregiving is a series of stops and starts where you adjust care as your loved one declines and requires more help. The following stages will advise you on what to expect and how to prepare.
It is possible that you will never be a caregiver, but it is unlikely. Chances are, someone you know or a family member is a caregiver now, and you can support and learn from them. Like most things in life, planning before you need something is challenging, but preparation is the key to competent and compassionate care of another person. And caregiving is not just an individual responsibility but a collective one that affects families, communities, and society.
As an expectant caregiver, you start to notice changes in someone you care about. It could be a parent, a spouse, a partner, or other family member. These changes could include worsening health problems, new chronic diagnoses, or cognitive changes. Many people can weather a surgery or brief illness. Still, for many older people, any disruption can cause lasting functional consequences, including difficulty managing medications, inability to perform activities of daily living safely, and issues driving and managing finances. You may start to feel anxious about what your caregiving role will be and what resources can help. Additionally, you will begin to ensure that healthcare directives, power of attorney, and other advance and estate planning documents are in place.
You are beginning to dip your toe into the caregiving experience at this stage. Tasks could include going to the pharmacy to pick up medications, preparing meals, providing transportation, and shopping. This stage of care can be shocking and overwhelming because you are starting to realize the impact that caregiving will have on your life and all of the information you need and may not have to care for your loved one properly. You may have anxiety about what the future holds.
As an entrenched caregiver, daily caregiving responsibilities significantly impact your life. You may have to reduce employment, spend less time with your family, and respond to unexpected demands and crises. Meanwhile, you may continue to put healthcare directives and legal documents in place to assume more legal authority for healthcare and finances. Your loved one may become increasingly dependent, causing frustration and conflict with you, which can significantly change your relationship. You are now a caregiver and no longer a son or daughter, which can be distressing for you both. At this stage, caregiver stress and burnout are real possibilities and can lead to exhaustion, depression, and anxiety. You learn the importance of self-care and the value of reaching out to others for help.
The transitioning phase is best described as a time when you may need additional support for your loved one, and you accept that you will reduce caregiving time and that caregiving will end. In this phase, you and your family make decisions about care, such as assisted living or memory care, to provide the level of support your loved one needs and to relieve family caregiver duties. Or, if your loved one remains at home, you may decide on Hospice care or home care. Emotionally, this can be a challenging and complicated time since you and your family start to deal with the reality of losing someone before they are gone.
When you lose a loved one and your caregiving duties are finished, a cascade of emotions can be overwhelming and confusing. You may feel relief but also loss as you grieve the person who is gone. As a caregiver, you may have put significant parts of your life on hold and feel a lack of purpose and direction as you attempt to put your life back together. It is a time to reconnect with friends and family while still coping with loss. Counseling can be a significant support during this time to help you grieve and look to the future.
